"MY MOTTO"

"MY MOTTO"
LIFE...AND THE THINGS IT BRINGS

Friday, September 13, 2013

ANSWERS...THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!!! WHAT IS AT THE ROOT OF ALL THIS??

 ANSWERS...THAT IS ALL I WANT. WHY CAN'T SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE MY PROBLEMS ARE COMING FROM? WHICH, ONE OF THESE ARE THE CULPRITS? IS IT THE CHIARI MALFORMATION, THE AVM, THE ADDISON'S DISEASE, THE FIBROMYALGIA...THE SURGERY ON MY NECK..OR THE ONE IN MY LEFT JAW? WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE MAY NEVER KNOW...BUT, I WOULD LIKE TO...BEFORE, ONE OF THEM DOES ME IN...

I am still in bed most days. If, I do anything...to use a muscle. And, BASICALLY..ANYTHING THAT WE DO...REQUIRES THE USE OF A MUSCLE. 
All the many MUSCLES IT TAKES TO MOVE!!! UGGHH,..YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND..IT HURTS... :"(
It is hard for me to reach even. I have days where I just lay in bed and wonder what happened to my life. I never envisioned being stuck in bed. I am an outgoing person..one who likes to be around people. I sing..or I did sing. Now, I dream. 
When, I...finally got dx'd with Addison's, I thought I would be so much better..but, I am still having a lot of problems and episodes. Since, we talked last...I have had a few episodes that really worry me. I woke up one night..tingling all over...heavily, like hard raindrops were hitting every part of my body. My face was extra numb..because it stays numb on the left side all the time. So, this was extraordinarily strong and noticed that my tongue was getting number and I thought that I felt pressure to go to the restroom and got up. When, I did...the room went dark and it was spinning. I felt like I was going to faint. I thought, if I went to the restroom...maybe, I would feel better...but, I was wrong. I didn't feel better and knew that if, I didn't lay down on the floor...I was going to hit it! I lay there and I prayed. I really thought that I was a goner. I wanted it to go away and I got up and made my way to my husband..who, was sound asleep at 4am. He didn't hear me say, "Call 911. I need to go to the Hospital." But, I wound up laying on the floor again and he covered me up and gave me a pillow. I woke up the next morning on the sofa. I was fine and didn't feel bad at all. I don't understand what happened to me. I found out that an "Empty Sella" is more than what I  had thought. It is over the Pituitary...and I have Addison's..and just trying to put all the pieces together. I
have severe tension and pain..at the back of my head. It feels like someone has a fist balled up...and I am laying on it. IT does not feel good and it is hard to get a comfortable position to rest. It is hard for me to lay on my left side, because I seem to get more numb. I also have a lot of pain over my temples, mostly left...and if, there is pressure over my Pit..then, couldn't that mean I could have a cyst or something there that they are missing like cerebrospinal fluid filling my Pituitary. 
Another thing..is that my eyes get so blurry sometime. And, I keep an Aura around my eyes. Everything gives off a glare. I keep my room darker and the computer screen brightness set darker. I also got that Flux something or another that automatically will adjust my screen to the time of day. It helps. I just want to find what is going on before anything bad happens. I feel that I need to push forward with this. I don't need to ignore it. So, I just pray that I gave enough clues to others out there...that could possibly know where this is coming from. I would appreciate any comments on it.
Oh..I forgot to mention that I have sore spots that come up on my head..especially, where I got hit in a Car Accident. I was hit on the top of my head, when the guy hit something in the road..and I hit the roof of the Car with my head. I will literally get a goose egg up on the same area. Also, the other sore areas are random areas on my head and they feel like someone has pulled my hair or how it feels, after you take a poney-tail holder out and all that area is sore. I will get these little hard balls on my scalp too. Usually, they are on my temples or over my ears..on my head.
By the way, what is a mastoid effusion? I have that too. I guess, I need to look that one up too. My memory is so bad that I forget everything. I have a good long term memory, but short...nope. IT is not there. I get sooooo frustrated by it!!!
I don't want that episode thingy again...IT was horrible. :o 
I hurt under my left ear too, but since I had surgery...I just feel it is adhesions or something. Could it be that the adhesions from the surgery...are causing complications somewhere? 
I have pain over the left back side of my head. Where the AVM is..so, it is close to the Chiari...and the Empty Sella...and also, where I had a bone spur removed from my left ear. So, where is my problem coming from? Which one would be responsible...or all? :P I just want answers and get to the BOTTOM of it. Also, I had an ACD & F, which is a spinal diskectomy of my C5-C6 and that could even be a part of all this...since, a doc did say that my neck is swollen and others say it too. It is visible and I feel it. It will get tight and knots up too..in the muscles there. I have to rub Moxibustion on it and that helps loosen the intensity some. The leg pain is intense too and all day, I run the massager part on my adjustable bed. I don't know what I would do without it. I have actually burned one motor up..and that is no lie. Seriously, I had to call the manufacturer My legs are that bad and what i worry..is that the Docs just don't see how bad things really are, but I smile through the pain..if, I can. IF i am having a bad day...I might can cover, but the really bad ones..I am in bed. And, that massager is running. 
And, to add to the mix...my JAW is hurting..right beside the bone spur surgery. I don't know where this is coming from????

THIS IS HOW I USED TO LOOK AND YOU COULD SEE THAT I FELT GOOD AND WAS IN NO PAIN. I WAS WORKING AT OPRYLAND, SINGING AND DANCING IN A SHOW CALLED COUNTRY MUSIC USA. THE BEST SHOW IN THE PARK...AS THEY WOULD SAY. :o
I MISS FEELING GOOD AND BEING LIVELY. 

I need to know...What should I do? Where should I go? I have seen where there are wellness places that boost a person's immune system and show them how to eat...for wellness. Like a place called
"Hipocrates"  I would love to go there. Maybe, they could revive my life.
 "Your food is your medicine and your medicine your food." But, I can't afford that and know that I would benefit...but I have to decide, which I need to seek out to do first. Oh, I donno..things are mighty hard around here and my mom/dad are in their 70's and mom is already sick herself. I just don't want to add to any more that is already going on. "There is enough trouble in a day." AND...NOT ENOUGH HOURS. 
I need to find a Doc that knows what this is. If, it is my Pituitary(Addison's), CM, AVM or the ACD & F, or the ear surgery.(Bone spur removed from there). How am I going to do that? What the heck? hmmm...a definite canumdrum....HELP!! 
YOU CAN SEE JUST WHAT ALL...THAT I AM DEALING WITH. A LOT AND SO FRUSTRATED TOO, BECAUSE IT IS TAKING SO LONG...TO GET WELL, BUT I AM A FIGHTER AND A PATIENT PERSON. THANK GOD...AND HE WILL GIVEME THE STRENGTH THAT I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING. :D
WILL CONTINUE..FOR HOW EVER LONG IT TAKES...TO GET THERE TO WELLNESS.

Thank any who took the time to read all what I deal with. Sorry, if I skip or anything...I have a bad memory and get frustrated. I get confused easily and irritated, edgy...but patient and won't say anything. I will just get quiet. Oh...I hope someone knows something..because HERE..WE GO!
God Bless you. I just pray that some how, I will find that right Doc...who can give me the answer to the root of the problem. So that I can get on with living. :)