WARNING:MIGHT NOT BE PERFECT,BUT HONEST..WITH A FEW FLAWS of writing that is..hehe..just kidding..gesh..so touchy, I AM SURE AND MISTAKES,BUT EVEN A CUSS WORD(4give me Lord)..THAT, I DON'T LIKE TO USE, BUT SOMETIMES, LIFE SEEMS SO FRUSTRATING AND WE ALL...YES, WE ALL NEED UNDERSTANDING AND LOVE:))
FASCINATING READ..to me, that is:O)..U MIGHT EVEN LEARN a thing or two..YOU..YOURSELF, MIGHT NEED ONE DAY.. :P
I have always been a worker, a doer MY WHOLE LIFE..NOT a taker..and that hasn't changed. I am shaky right now,due to my whole left side of my body being NUMB and I am SOO WEAK. IT is a scary feeling and I don't understand..just why, I am having ALL of the symptoms and IF I am taking up ur space..I am truly sorry,but this is like my friend..I am stuck in bed w/all of these symptoms..and IT'S HARD,so, I write my feelings down and IT helps me focus on my life, to document just what is going on and when I need it..IT is there.
You know, it is bad enough to try and be a happy-go-lucky person that I USED TO BE..No more..can I EVEN LAUGH without my heart pumping hard and my BODY getting NUMB..imagine the OTHER things I CANNOT DO???...and when a person misjudges u, IT is really hard to be patient,humble and loving..BUT, I AM.. I feel JUDGED or PROFILED or something...SOMETIMES..DAMN..REALLY??..GET REAL..I have had enough to take when it comes to people and THEIR ATTITUDES and WISH THAT I COULD just get ON w/my Life,but UNFORTUNATELY..I HAVE TO TAKE THE MEDS prescribed and deal with IT AND THEIR UNRELENTING SIDE EFFECTS. I WISH THERE WERE ANOTHER WAY..I DON'T HAVE THAT OPTION RIGHT NOW!!!!! OHH, I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD and COULD BE MORE CONSIDERATE. What has happened to some people's hearts:((( I guess, The Lord will be back soon and their hearts are being hardened..Sad..SO SAD, THAT THEY HAVEN'T FOUND HIM YET!!. Sometimes, I feel so alone in my situation and It's then, when I understand, why people FIGHT SO HARD TO LIVE.
oooo.I Have been having an ALL day LONG EPISODE, in which scares me.Having pian in my left side of neck where I have a DVA...NOTHING TO MESS WITH..TRYING..It CAN take u away from here..IF ONLY THEY(SM), WOULD DO LIKE THEY SAID AND PUT ME IN TO SEE THIS DR.ADAM ARTHER..I WANT TO SEE SOMEONE THAT IS GOING TO FIGHT 4 ME and HELP ME..INSTEAD OF LETTING ME SIT IN THEIR LITTLE ROOM AND WAIT 3 HOURS IN A WHEELCHAIR...YEAH, U CAN DEFINITELY SAY I AM HIGHLY UPSET..SO MUCH 4 UNDERSTANDING..IT is ALMOST GONE..I reckon.I DO KNOW ONE IMPORTANT FACT..I AM NOT A HYPO and DON'T like being referred as one.. I am very sensitive @ that ..because I am SURE that I have dificulties and disablities and MOST people HERE or THERE just don't understand and I understand, for when, I do have a good day(1 out of 10..IF I am lucky)...BUT NOW that WEAKNESS has become as ISSUE..I AM MORE SURE of it. ..AND FEEL LIKE PEOPLE THINK I AM making it up to get ATTENTION..NOT I get plenty of attention to be begging 4 it. I hate 4 people to wait on me. It makes me feel so dependant..NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN DEPENDANT..UNTIL NOW..
I GOT SOME MORE PICS TO SHARE WITH U:))) THE NEW..NEW ONES..THAT ARE RECENT,WHEN SHANE VISITED, I CAN'T LOAD BECAUSE I CAN'T GET UP AND LOOK 4 ME CORD THAT APPARENTLY HAS BEEN MISPLACED. ( It had to be when the storm hit and I had to get to mom/dads house because I live in a mobile home) I CAN'T FIND IT..I HAVE LOOKED, BUT JUST SOOO MUCH LOOKING THAT I CAN DO..HAVE TO STOP 4 MY HEART..<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3...YES, I AM SCARED, BUT PRAY THAT THE LORD WILL HELP ME GET MY LIFE BACK TO WHERE IT WAS SOON..HOPEFUL:))))
BRYAN..WOOOO. HE WOULD KILL ME(not literally), IF HE KNEW THAT I POSTED THIS, BUT IF I POSTED JUSTIN BEIBER BESIDE HIM..HE REALLY WOULD BE..STEAMING MAD..HEHEHE..SHOULD I???? HMMMM? I MIGHT GET AWAY WIITH IT..LOL:)))
HMM? WHAT DO U THINK?HEHEHE..I DID IT..OH, I AM GONNA BE IN SOME TROUBLE WHEN HE GETS HOME.:)))